These are common traits that Adult Children share and identify with themselves, when untreated.
The Solution is to become your own loving parent. As ACA becomes a safe place
for you, you will find freedom to express all the hurts and fears you have kept inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carryovers from the past. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions. You will recover the child within you, learning to accept and love yourself.
The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. Feelings and buried memories will return. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly
move out of the past. We learn to reparent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love, and
respect. This process allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our
existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God.
Although we had alcoholic or dysfunctional parents, our Higher Power gave us the
Twelve Steps of Recovery.
This is the action and work that heals us: we use the Steps; we use the meetings; we
use the telephone. We share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. We learn to restructure our sick thinking one day at a time. When we release our parents from responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting, to healing, to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible. By attending these meetings on a regular basis, you will come to see parental alcoholism or family dysfunction for what it is: a disease that infected you as a child and continues to affect you as an adult.
You will learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now. You will take
responsibility for your own life and supply your own parenting. You will not do this
alone. Look around you and you will see others who know how you feel. We will love
and encourage you no matter what. We ask you to accept us just as we accept you. This is a spiritual program based on action coming from love. We are sure that as the love grows inside you, you will see beautiful changes in all your relationships, especially with God, yourself, and your parents.
1) We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves.
2) Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis.
3) Fear of authority figures and the need to “people-please” will leave us.
4) Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us.
5) As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become
more tolerant of weaknesses.
6) We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure.
7) We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives.
8) We will choose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves.
9) Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set.
10) Fears of failure and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices.
11) With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional
12) Gradually, with our Higher Power’s help, we will learn to expect the best and get it